Why Do Cowboys Keep Their Boots On? An Untamed Story

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Dearest Diary, I know it's been a while, but I have still been plagued by the REPTILE WORLD. One day, a few months ago, I was minding my business like I always do. Earlier the week I was trying to clean down a large white fence, so obviously I needed my J. Crew boots in order to properly accomplish this task. 

My J Crew Rain Boots are not only stylish, but they come up high enough so that if I step on anything scary, I will only be passed out maybe for a few hours. They serve as a compromise with a scary world. Snakes can't get me, lizards, spiders, ants, FROGS, and let's just end the list here because this torture is really unnecessary. So I'm cleaning the fence with my J. Crew boots. Talia is my trusty helper. We got a lot done. Leaving the patio, I decide to let my boots stay outside to dry off. I felt a bit odd about doing that. Wasn't sure why, but I did. 
My J. Crew Boots. That's Tal in the Picture, She looks so Non Reptile

On the other side of the house, I requested that my husband kindly ask the awesome guys that work on our lawn to fill up a small dip in the overhang off the patio. Talia was saying such things as "there's rats in that hole---or OHHH, Mommy, I see some snakes". I really get upset when she talks like this. Terror (to be honest). So the hole was filled up, to my sheer delight. Happy wife, happy life--RIGHT???! 

The next day in life comes quickly. I'm working in my office and that pesky Reptile Talia girl comes running in---"Mommy" (I don't know why she always calls me first!!!!!!). "Mommy, there's snakes on the patio!!" I don't know how to verbalize or write about the level of anxiety that overcame me. I mean, I have my recliners out by the pool. My sectional outside sofa. MY J CREW BOOTS. Eyeballs rolling, I try to ignore her--but I can't BECAUSSSSE APPARENTLY I am living in the AMAZON with every animal that you can possibly imagine. Are these Anacondas????? Rattlers???? I don't KNOW. But let me compose myself in an effort to finish this post. 

I look outside and sure enough...3 snakes. One went into the pool. He didn't look happy about it. He couldn't have been more upset than I was. The jacked up part of this whole story is that one of the snakes went into my J. CREW BOOT. I could stop this story right here, BUT I WONT. I couldn't look, but Talia said "Mommy--one of them is in your boot!!!". Again, I don't understand why the girl keeps talking to me about such things. 

And because I need a cup of tea (or something stronger), I will end this blog post, and link you to the rest of this story at a later date. Because I am sure that you'd like to know why DO cowboys keep their boots on???

This story gets stranger and stranger...ohhh you're not gonna wanna miss this.

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